The Sacred Candle Ritual

A gentle way to honor the ones we carry in our hearts 

Grief is strange. It arrives when it wants to. Sometimes softly. Sometimes suddenly. Sometimes through something as simple as a sound, a smell, a song. For me it is always music. It was one of the biggest connections my Dad and I shared.

Last week a song came on that reminded me of him and before I even realised what I was doing, I reached for my phone to tell him. The moment I remembered that I couldn't do that anymore landed harder than I expected. It felt like the world stopped for a second and everything inside me went quiet.

The next day I was supposed to host a Community event. I could feel the truth rising in my body in a way I couldn't ignore. I have been down this road too many times to pretend I was fine. I knew what pushing through would cost me. So I made the tough choice. I emailed my community, cancelled the event and gave myself the space I needed instead of abandoning myself again.

After that, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I went to the trees. I went to talk to Dad.

Cathedral Grove was one of his favourite places on the island and as soon as I stepped onto the path I could almost hear him saying, “Look, look, look, Shan. They're some size, you can’t even wrap your arms around that one.”

His excitement. His awe. The way he shared wonder like it was second nature. It all came back to me at once.  You think you understand grief until it rises like that and moves through you in a way you can't even prepare for.

That moment brought me back to a ritual I created inside the Inner Peace Club. A simple way to sit with someone you love. To feel close again. To remember without rushing past your emotions or trying to be fine.

I wanted to bring that ritual here because maybe you know that kind of missing too. The kind that hits out of nowhere and brings someone you love right back into your heart like they never left.

This ritual is for those moments.

It is gentle.

It is grounding.

It brings you back to yourself and the love you will always carry.

What You Will Need

A candle that feels meaningful to you.

A quiet place to settle.

A journal if writing feels supportive.

A small item that connects you to your person. A photo, something they loved, or something you keep close.

The Ritual

Set the Space

Find a place where your body can soften. Let the room be as it is. Take a breath that lets your system know it can settle. Let this moment become yours.

Light the Candle with Intention

Light the candle slowly.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Let the flame represent what still lives in you. Love never disappears. It simply shifts and takes on new shapes.

Say Their Name

Speak their name out loud or in your heart.

Notice what rises when you do.

A memory. A feeling. A warmth. A wave.

Let it come. Let it be what it is.

Reflect and Remember

You can sit with these questions or write them down if that feels right.

What would I tell them today?

What memory still makes me smile?

How does their love continue to show up in my life?

This is not about having the perfect words.  It is about the connection we feel in our heart.

Sit with the Glow

Let the candlelight be steady for you.

Sit for as long as you need.

If emotion moves, let it move.

If stillness comes, let it stay.

You do not have to perform anything here.

Just be with what is true.

Close with Gratitude

Before blowing out the candle, pause for a moment.

Offer thanks in your own way.

For their life.

For your connection.

For the love that continues to live inside you.

Come Back Anytime

This ritual is here for anniversaries, heavy days, early mornings, and the unexpected waves that catch you off guard. There is no right timing for grief. There is only honesty. And moments like this where you let yourself feel close to someone you love.

If You Want More Practices Like This

Inside the Inner Peace Club  I share the rituals, reflections, and grounding practices that support me through my own seasons of grief, joy, change, and everyday life. If you want a place that feels honest, warm, and human, this is where we gather.

I've left a light on for you.

Shannan